Well, it has been 1,928 days since you took your last breath. 5 years has went by so fast yet so slow. I still miss you, the good times. But then there's days like today when I really REALLY don't like you.
1,928 days have come and gone...YEARS have come and gone...and the trauma you left me with is still there. There are so many things I don't understand, and I can't ask you, that fuck me up so much...Things that you've said to me...things you've done to me..still forever present in my daily life. Hating that part of you is hard to stop when there are so many of those shitty memories. You were toxic...we were toxic for each other. I wanted simplicity, stability, TRUST. I got none of that with you but I tried so hard to make it work. I kept telling myself that you were young, you'd grow out of the stage you were in. That never happened and truthfully, idk if it ever would have...you were spoiled. You grew up spoiled and you knew that somewhere, some stupid bitch would do your bidding whether it was me or not.
"I married you to take care of me"...remember that bullshit you said? Well, FUCK YOU. I took are of YOU and neglected parts of my children and neglected 100% of myself! You used to tell me I needed a hobby, to get out and do something for me...but when is that? When your'e watching the kids? Cause every single time YOU watched them, they got hurt! Or you bitched about it. You were a walking contradiction and a huge hypocrite!
